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Jan. 30th, 2010

girl, sad

She was ready.

She was ready to go, but no matter how ready she was and no matter how much any of us anticipated it, I wasn't ready to let her go, just like how I was never ready to let him go.

10.19.96 Born into this life as beautiful as can be. so beautiful...
Ling Ling,

Do you remember when you used to come visit you in Pennsylvania when you were still too young to be brought home? Do you remember how I used to play with you in my lap when I was but a toddler? Remember how we used to run around all over the playground together? Do you remember that time where you were too excited and dragged me halfway across the playground?

Do you remember all those times we would walk you? Remember Benji? Do you remember when you used to come visit us? Remember the times I would come and sit with you in the basement? Remember when I used to complain to you when I got frustrated? Remember how you would stare at me with your big brown eyes? How you would roll onto your belly when you wanted to cheer me up?

Remember that last Saturday I came over to see you? Did you know then? Did you know? Did you know that that was the last time I would ever get to see your beautiful face?

Do you remember me now that you're gone? Will you remember me?

Ling Ling, you were the most beautiful dog in the world. You were the greatest friend anyone could ever have and I love you with my whole heart. We grew up together. I'll miss you so much. Please don't forget.

Sunday, January 24, 2010. She knew. She'd known. She insisted on walking through the rooms of the house. She would take lingering glances in every direction. She wasn't curious. She knew where everything was or should be. She was just trying to burn into her memory the things she would miss when she left. She'd known but she was ready to let go. And then she was gone.

I didn't know it would be so soon. I just saw her on Saturday. She walked around with me in the basement. I gave her a treat and sat down next to her while she rested in her bed. Maybe I should've known. She looked sad. But she licked my arms reassuringly. I think she wanted me to be strong. She watched me go. Other days she would stay in bed. That day she followed me to the steps and watched after me. She must've known. I should've known.

But I wasn't ready.

Monday, January 25, 2010. They found you stiff with rigor mortis. Beautiful eyes, dull. Cold. So cold. You knew you were going. You knew you would miss us. It hurt to let us go, but you were ready. You were strong to the end.

You wanted us to be strong. But how can I be? I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready when Benji left. I certainly wasn't ready when you left. Beautiful dogs... how could we let you go?

She was ready to go, but no matter how ready she was and no matter how much any of us anticipated it, I wasn't ready to let her go, just like how I was never ready to let him go. But that's how life is, right? We live, we laugh, we love, we cry, we die.

No matter how much we hang on... no matter how unprepared we are, everyone and everything has a time to go. Cry, but never forget. Be strong.

... you will be missed.

May she rest in peace. 10.19.96 - 01.25.10 おやすみ Good night, my beautiful. Until we meet again.

Jan. 29th, 2010

bun bun

My Fairytale...

...consists nothing of school. yet lo and behold I have class five days a week xD. I would love to read more but there's no time for that. Blogs will probably be scarce through the semester, but hey when I do... you'll know when I do :p

On a side note, I thought I'd share that I am in love with angels! Not the ones from Legion, of course, but you know, the really pretty ones with white wings and beautiful voices and whatnot :p [random ^_^] but yeah... I should probably stop here 'cuz I need to head over to class soon!

Jan. 22nd, 2010

bun bun

Est-ce que vous êtes folle?

I actually posted this blog yesterday but totally forgot to put it over here. I tend to do that. Keep up with me over here! The main blog :p

Well, the first day of school has come to an end... and well... I can't help but feel overwhelmed. Monday through Thursday, school starts basically either at 7:35 or 8:00. Waking up is.... well... waking up -_-'' It takes me quite some time to actually regain full consciousness to sit up and think oh hey, I should probably get ready. Unless... I'm late. haha... then, I just jump out of bed after looking at the time and like pull on whatever clothing is closest, shove my feet into socks and whichever pair of shoes is easiest to put on, and well i grab my bag and run! ^_^ what a fun routine huh? :p

This morning, it took a while to get used to waking up extra early since for the past month I've been sleeping in and waking mostly at 12:00. I set five alarms on my phone and was a bit disoriented when groping around in the dark to stop the irritating sounds. XDD My sister later told me that I only woke to the third alarm. hahas. I guess I'm a deep sleeper.

The first class of the day was Biochem with Dr. Stephani! Two hours long! It's okay since I get to see lots of people I know in that class. However that excited mode I was in was immediately put out when my arch nemesis, who I shall not name, decided to sit down next to my two friends, Jackey and Danny, immediately not giving me or my other friend Li a chance to take a seat next to them. (She's not my arch nemesis btw. and it would take forever to explain the situation so let's not ^_^) We settled for sitting a row further up.

Then, the class started! To me, time flew. But that was probably due to the fact that I was doodling in my notebook. Li, however, felt the full effects, with her 15 million yawns which she failed to stifle! (hehe...) The professor kind of wanders off on tangents but it's not so bad as sometimes the things he says are interesting. The only thing I'm worried about is his exams. And I really hope to pull all A's this semester. Li tells me that he has terrible ratings and that a lot of people don't think he's that great. To tell the truth, I am scared. But hey, who says you can't get an A if the prof. has bad ratings? It's not impossible and well, shoot for the stars, people! We got this! (hopefully... :p )

The class after biochem was Intro to Public Health with Dr. Baturay, and let's just say this class is going to be hell to keep up with. It's not that the material is hard. It's more like she has a powerpoint up from which she reads directly and then jumps to the next page without giving much time for us to copy notes. And well, if we miss it then too bad because she doesn't post the powerpoints up for us to review. She also had terrible ratings. But I'm sure once we figure out how to keep up we'll be able to pull through. Li and I were discussing recording if possible or taking pics of the slides. haha. but yeah, apparently Baturay reminds Li of Ms. Arcuri from BTHS. XDD She's supposedly a legend at my former high school. hahas. Either way, I'm sure we can do this too!

Last but not least, the class I ended with was Metaphysics with Prof. Fernandez! He has a hell of a sense of humor and well I'm really looking forward to this class. I really hope to pass this class with flying colors, but of course you never know... There's two pop quizzes, two papers, and two exams that go into final grades. Despite the workload that seems to be presented, I think I can do it! Also, it was nice to end the day with a pretty fun class. And well hey, at least I didn't end all gloomy and tired like last semester!

However, tomorrow isn't looking very good T_T Anatomy&Physiology with Dr. Carroll, Pharmacoeconomics with Dr. Khan, and Biomed Lab. sigh* A&P is Carroll's forte so we gotta know our stuff if we want A's. Khan got very very very bad ratings. And Biomed Lab just seems to be too much work. gahhhh...

This is the part where I ask myself, Est-ce que vous êtes folle? (French for: Are you insane?) hehe... I feel like I'm already drowning from anxiety and our second day has yet to begin. And I certainly regret choosing this block schedule. I wish I had better teachers, but it's not something we can help, you know? And that's when I recalled something a really good friend blogged about:

[...] When everything looks down, never give up. Things may look bad now, but you can always improve on them. regrets and mistakes are only stepping stones to become a better person. Even id the road before you is broken, that just means that you now have to repair it. Never. Give. Up." - Alger (If you're reading this, thanks! hehe. you really helped pick me up!) :D

Never give up! That is something I want to stay with me this new year! I want to perservere no matter how bad the professors seem. I want to be able to get really good grades, graduate from this program, and then travel to Japan and other Asian countries like Hong Kong and Taiwan. It's good to dream sometimes ;D hehe....

Okay kiddies, time for bed. But one last thing: WE GOT THIS! Let's all do our best! and Never. Ever. Give. Up! ^_^ Looking forward to another day, to more opportunties, and of course a trip to Japan! And with that in mind: Est-ce que vous êtes folle? Non! Bonne nuit. Au revoir :p

Jan. 14th, 2010


FINAL FANTASY XIII, I want you! FINAL FANTASY XIII versus, I want you more!!!

FINAL FANTASY XIII versus. SQUARE ENIX, you never fail to impress me! NOCTIS, you are my definition of SEXY :p
I cannot... I repeat CANNOT... wait for this game to come out. I love LOVE the graphics!

FINAL FANTASY XIII. this game and the one above are two different games. FFXIII is coming out first! This is the voice acting trailer. It has yet to come out for FFXIII versus. but i want to play that one more :p

Jan. 11th, 2010

anime, cutie

Cute Video!

Super Junior & SNSD - S.E.O.U.L

Kadaj, Kisses

Another Weird Dreammm~

Talk about weird...

It wasn't as clear as the last oneand I'm already forgetting most parts, but here goes... hahas. a mini summary of my most recent dream:

My female boss was in love with me. She was confessing her love to me. She didn't care if I was with her for career benefits or just because I had feelings for her too. Even if I just wanted a higher position, she said she wouldn't mind as long as she gets to love me....

...scene change...

We were all packed and ready for vacation. A vacation to Japan! The trunk was full. Everyone's got smiles on their faces. Who doesn't wanna go to Japan? But I couldn't get rid of that feeling like I was forgetting something. Then it hit me! I forgot to bring socks! oh no! we had to go back and my parents were wondering what I was looking for...

hahas... first part was the most awkward ever! the second part makes me contemplate how I'm always forgetting a sock or two and maybe some shoes in my dreams. :p
Kadaj, Kisses

Up and Coming Book Releases...

... that I'm waiting so anxiously for! There will probably be more but I probably couldn't find any info. Will update once I do! I absolutely love these series and especially these authors!

02.02.10 - FLIRT (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Series #18) by Laurell K. Hamilton

02.09.10 - First Drop of Crimson  (Night Huntress World Series #1) by Jeaniene Frost

03.30.10 - Succubus Shadows (Georgina Kincaid Series #5) by Richelle Mead

04.27.10 - Burned (House of Night Series #7) by P.C. Cast & Kristin Cast

05.18.10 - Spirit Bound (Vampire Academy Series 5) by Richelle Mead

05.25.10 - Moon Sworn (Riley Jenson Guardian Series #9) by Keri Arthur

06.01.10 - Bullet (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Series #19) by Laurell K. Hamilton

07.27.10 - Eternal Kiss of Darkness (Night Huntress World #2) by Jeaniene Frost

I simply cannot wait~~~

Jan. 10th, 2010


Weird Dreams...

Since it's winter break for us college students, I've actually been able to get more sleep than four hours a night. And being able to sleep longer, I think I've finally gave my mind enough time to go into dream mode. Back when school was in, I did have dreams but they were rare and brief, or maybe I just don't remember. Recently, however, they're more abundant and more vivid and quite awkward. haha

Let's see, last night's....

It was a small bubble tea cafe. The interior was a warm yellow. They happened to be giving out complementary drinks, but those were limited, so it was first come first serve. My sisters were with me. There were others but I can't seem to remember. I was up and well, they offered me the last of the complementary drinks, but I ended up giving the free drink to my sister who was in line before me. I ended up chatting with the guy who was handing the drinks out. I can't remember what he looks like, but he was cute. I just remember thinking that. He was really cute. I was blushing...

...then the scene changed...

Somehow the cute guy was suddenly my boyfriend. I was browsing through shelves and shelves of books while he playfully tugged on my sleeves. I picked up a really adorable Christmas card but then remembered Christmas had passed sometime ago so I put it back down. He was hugging me from behind while I skimmed through a few pages of an interesting book. I was hoping my dad wasn't in view. I told him that my dad wouldn't like it if he saw. My dad doesn't like guys hanging all over me. He just laughed it off and continued to browse the shelves with his arm around my waist.

"Your father wouldn't mind. He likes me. Plus, look over there." He pointed in the directions of a seating set-up in the store.

I looked over, my father happened to be there flipping through some books of his own. He looked up, smiled, and waved. I was surprised. He wasn't upset to see I had a boyfriend or the fact that he was so close to me. I remember thinking, 'That's never happened before. My dad never liked my boyfriend. Oh well...'

...another scene change...

I couldn't seem to find him. He'd gone off somewhere but I couldn't find him. I was getting worried. However, I did manage to find my father with my sisters at this round table that we have in our kitchen. They were having steak for dinner. I was hungry so I asked to have some. After two slices I was very full. That was awkward, normally I would be able to eat more. But it's okay, I was more worried about looking for him. My dad asked me to sit around and chat. I squirmed in my seat, anxious. I don't remember what we talked about but was finally relieved to be away from the table, back on with my search.

...then the awkwardness begins ( for some reason I'm seeing everything my 'boyfriend' is. So this is his scene)...

Through my eyes, the surroundings looked strange. Everything seemed to be a bit fuzzy around the edges with a green tinge. 'What's this? What's wrong with my vision,' I was thinking to myself. Then I heard the sound of footsteps and in a hurry I went to find a hiding place. I was hiding from something. Something dangerous. 'What's going on..?' I felt quite disoriented. I felt something in my hand. I looked down to find myself holding something. It was a grenade. 'What am I doing holding this...?' 

The footsteps drew nearer. I climbed on top of a laundry machine. I was hunched. Ready to strike whatever was threatening to take me away. They were coming down the stairs. They had guns in there hands. 'Oh my God. What's going on?' I was panic stricken. Then someone came forward. He looked different, strange even. His skin had this deathly pale glow, his eyes sunken. 

I remember now. There was a zombie epidemic. This guy approaching me was a zombie. What was he doing with a group of humans with guns? Then he spoke. "It's okay, hand me your weapon. Everything will be alright."

I was shocked. Zombies don't speak. 'What's going on...' I handed him the dangerous weight in my hand. The men with guns went away. The zombie stayed behind. "How come you're speaking? How come the men haven't killed you? Aren't they hunting zombies? Aren't you one?"

"Well. Yeah I am one but like you, I managed to retain my consciousness. I'm not one of those homicidal zombies who attack everyone... and yes they're taking out zombies but just the crazy mindless ones who attack anyone and anything."

My heart stopped. '.... like me...' What did he mean? "What do you mean, like me?"

"Hey pal, sorry to break it to ya, but you're like me. And you've managed to retain your consciousness, so you're no threat. well, at least i hope not..."

He walked with me up the stairs. I was speechless... 'how... when...sigh....'

...and then the scene changes again. (i'm back in my own body.) but i seem to see what he's thinking too although my dream self doesn't... yeah it's kinda hard to explain... hahas. bear with me....

"Hey, where have you been? I've been looking all over for you. I was so worried with the breakout and all. I'm so glad your safe!" I hugged him.

'At least she doesn't see me differently. I hope she doesn't know what I've turned into. I don't want her to turn away from me after seeing the monster I've become,' he thought to himself. 

He hugs me back, "Don't worry. I'm here now. Smile a bit." He gives me a kiss on the forehead.

I had to smile. He was back at my side. The love of my life. I would die if anything happened to him.

...then the scene is different... i'm seeing it third person...

Everyone's there. It seems to be some sort of a gathering to just hang around. Everyone's throwing blankets in the air and running around. It looked like fun. It probably was fun. My 'boyfriend' is there laughing. But he looks different. I'm with him. We were holding hands, laughing, running around.

And then I woke up...

Yeah so I have no idea what to make of it either XDD but I have to say it's quite awkward....

Jan. 9th, 2010

cup, Bunnies

I just love...

... when there's opportunities to receive ARC's!

Literary Escapism is currently holding a giveaway for ARC's of First Drop of Crimson by Jeaniene Frost which isn't due out until February 9th, I believe. I have to admit, the wait for new releases is killer and a chance to get it earlier is like amazing :p By the way Ms. Frost is an awesome author and if you think you like this book, you should also check out the other series she has. Check her books out here.

Here's the description on the back of the book:
The night is not safe for mortals. Denise MacGregor knows all too well what lurks in the shadows—her best friend is half-vampire Cat Crawfield—and she has already lost more than the average human could bear. But her family’s past is wrapped in secrets and shrouded in darkness—and a demon shapeshifter has marked Denise as prey. Now her survival depends on an immortal who lusts for a taste of her.

He is Spade, a powerful, mysterious vampire who has walked the earth for centuries and is now duty-bound to protect this endangered, alluring human—even if it means destroying his own kind. Denise may arouse his deepest hungers, but Spade knows he must fight his urge to have her as they face the nightmare together . . .

Because once the first crimson drop falls, they will both be lost.

So? What do you say? To go check out this contest click HERE.

Happy Reading :]

Dec. 25th, 2009

bun bun

Just popping in to say...

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Hope everyone has a great year~

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